Words Matter – Empowering Through Language

At Collectively Diverse, we recently came across a powerful piece of guidance from Devon Partnership NHS Trust while preparing new training materials. Titled “Words Matter: Language around Suicide and Self-Harm – Staff Guidance,” this document really struck a chord with us, not just because of its thoughtful approach to such sensitive topics, but because it aligns deeply with one of our core beliefs: language shapes experience.

The words we choose can either open doors to connection and healing or build barriers of misunderstanding and shame. Whether we’re supporting someone navigating suicidal thoughts, advocating for neurodivergent individuals, or training staff to become more inclusive, we must always ask ourselves: Are our words empowering? Or are they unintentionally applying limitations?

The Power of Language Around Suicide and Self-Harm

The guidance from Devon Partnership NHS Trust, developed by people with both lived and professional experience, reminds us that talking about suicide and self-harm demands compassion, curiosity, and clarity. It challenges commonly used but harmful phrases like “commit suicide” or “attention-seeking” — terms that carry judgment, shame, or even criminal connotations — and instead offers kinder, more accurate alternatives like “died by suicide” or “support-seeking.”

What stood out most was the emphasis on intentional, non-stigmatising language. Not only can this make it safer for someone to speak up, but it can literally be life-saving. It’s a reminder that small shifts in our everyday conversations can have a huge impact.

And yet, we also know this: nobody gets it right all the time. Language is complex, and so are people. At Collectively Diverse, we know perfection doesn't exist, we simply encourage reflection and growth. We’ve all said things we didn’t mean or phrases we later learned could be hurtful. What matters is that we’re open to learning and changing.

Beyond Suicide: Language in the Everyday

This doesn’t only apply to discussions about suicide and self-harm. Language matters in every area we work in — especially when talking about disability, mental health, neurodiversity, and identity. The way we talk about people’s differences can either reinforce societal stigma, or challenge it.

For instance:

• Saying someone “suffers from autism” implies pain and victimhood, whereas saying “is autistic” or “is neurodivergent” reflects identity and agency.

• Describing a student as having “special needs” may carry outdated assumptions; instead, we could talk about “individual learning needs” or “access needs”, focusing on the environment, not a deficit in the person.

• Using phrases like “wheelchair-bound” paints a person as restricted, while “wheelchair user” reflects autonomy and function.

We must always ask: Are we naming challenges in a way that opens up possibility, or shuts it down? Are we choosing words that empower?

Coaches, Teachers, Leaders: Are Your Words Lifting People Up?

We also reflect on the language used in sports coaching and youth leadership, where motivation is key, but where words can unintentionally do harm.

Phrases like “man up,” “don’t be soft,” or “leave your problems at the door” might be meant to toughen someone up, but they often silence emotional struggles, reinforce unhealthy gender stereotypes, and discourage vulnerability. When athletes (or learners, or employees) feel like they can’t be fully human in that space, they may push down signs of distress until it's too late to process them safely.

Instead, empowering coaches and leaders:

• Make space for conversations about wellbeing.

• Use strengths-based language like “resilient,” “committed,” or “adaptable.”

• Encourage effort over outcome, recognising that success looks different for everyone.

This applies across all contexts — from classrooms to corporate teams to casual chats. Words either build trust or break it.

Language is a Living Practice

At Collectively Diverse, we’re not here to police language — we’re here to start conversations. We believe that how we speak and write should evolve with our understanding. Just like the Devon Partnership NHS Trust’s guidance encourages openness and learning around suicide and self-harm, we encourage everyone — from HR teams to educators to families — to reflect on how your words reflect your values.

So, as we build our training, deliver our talks, and design our workshops, we ask ourselves:

• Are we saying what we mean with kindness and clarity?

• Are we giving people the space to speak for themselves?

• Are we using language that invites belonging?

  
  

Final Thoughts

None of us will get it right all the time, and different people prefer different terms, and that’s okay. What matters is intention, reflection, and a willingness to listen. At Collectively Diverse, we’re on that journey too.

Let’s keep learning together.

If you’re interested in learning more about inclusive language or exploring how your organisation’s communication can become more empowering, contact us at Collectively Diverse.